Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Matthew's Version of Events


I really think we need to go over this particular story one more time....

Why one of the wise men is so angry with the cow, I can't say. I also can't say why one of the wise men is missing. I suspect the construction worker had something to do with it...

Some Assembly Required

I'm always on the lookout for a good deal, so when I saw a toy kitchen at KMart for $35, I snapped it up. The image on the box cover showed two pathologically happy children engaging in the joy of pretend play, and I congratulated myself on saving so much money. The box stated the toy would make "real cooking sounds" and "some assembly required." Both of these were lies. Pure lies.

I opened the box to assemble the kitchen during Matthew's nap. HAHAHAHAHA! That's hysterical laughter. This was no one hour assembly job. I thought the box felt awfully lightweight...

Out of the box fell many plastic sheets and a bag containing 8 million screws. I might be underestimating the screw count. In addition, there were blueprints which appeared to have been drawn up by a third grade child. The holes for the screws didn't line up. Of course they didn't! We got the kitchen put together by late last night, with the aid of a power screwdriver which didn't care if the holes lined up. We even put in the little cooktop that made the "real cooking sounds." It sounds more like science fiction B-movie sound effects. Matthew won't care, I'm sure. We also have several screws left over. I am assuming these were "extras." They have to be extras. WE ARE NOT going to take that thing apart and start over!

I also discovered this "toy" is capable of inflicting wounds. Because all of the parts were flat plastic sheets connected in a fashion similar to airplane models, sharp burrs were left on all of the accessories. This left me with a gash in my left hand. I was ready to throw out the toy (probably designed by a person who secretly hates children), but my husband got small wirecutters and deburred the entire toy. Thank goodness for his childhood experience with models!

I may write to the manufacturer to suggest including gauze and antibacterial ointment in future models. Christmas is not for the feint of heart!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Scary Santa




I have, in vain, been trying to get a photo of Matthew on Santa's lap for Christmas. No such luck! At two years old, he is absolutely terrified of the man in red. Nolan sits quite nicely with the tubby elf, but I suspect that is because he can't move anywhere under his own power yet.


The Walmart Santa (free pictures!!) was a complete washout, and I have to agree that the guy WAS a little creepy. We have a picture of Nolan on his lap and Matthew by a Christmas tree nearby, sucking his thumb. That Santa had no free candy canes, so Matthew felt no incentive to get any closer than the garden department to the guy!


The Brigiotta's Greenhouse Santa was cool- real beard and the whole bit. AND he had candy canes. Matthew ventured close enough to snag a candy cane and then was out of there! It was too cold to get Nolan out of the bunting for a picture. Christmas cards this year may be doomed- I just can't get a good picture of the boys! Oh, well- we can keep trying. Maybe some Santa out there will have TONS of candy and not creep my son out.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Turkey Day





Statistics from today:

Total number of emergency trips to the grocery store: 1

Number of wild turkeys in our yard today: 3

Number of baths Nolan needed: 3

Calories consumed: 8,000,000,000

Gotta love turkey day! We woke up early (by "we" I mean Matthew) and started the preparations for the big dinner. The turkey, having been in the refrigerator since Saturday, was only slightly thawed. After running some hot water over the thing, I managed to pry the cavities open and remove the "guts." Blech. I know why I went into biotech rather than continuing on into medical school. Even turkey giblets gross me out!

We did discover that a 17 pound turkey will not fit into a "large" sized oven bag. This necessitated an emergency run to our local grocery store for an "extra-large" bag. The husband and toddler were dispatched to perform this duty and returned with the oven bags, spaghetti-O's, and root beer. I just wonder what the cashier must have been thinking...

Dinner was soon cooking and we had (what else) spaghetti-O's and root beer for lunch (milk for Matthew). It is interesting to note that while ravioli is the most disastrous food on earth to feed to a toddler (the stains are STILL in the wallpaper), spaghetti-O's are not nearly as volatile.

The turkey was soon done and Dennis pulled it out of the oven. Nolan, who had been very spiffy and clean after his first two baths today (lots of spitting up and that sort of thing) decided to do something quite uncouth. Let us just say that the child exploded in a very "yellow" sort of way. Bath number 3 was soon underway as the turkey was being carved. We would have taken pictures of our Thanksgiving meal this year, but we were just too afraid something else might happen. We ate as quickly as possible before Matthew would decide to use his mashed potatoes as playdough or Nolan could explode again. So, no pictures.

I figure we'll call this a very successful year since we had dinner hot and on the table on time with two kids under the age of two.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Playdough

Playdough is a wonderful invention. Now that Matthew is a little less prone to eating non-food items (total poison control calls to date: 4) we are able to let him play with this stuff. It gave me 45 minutes of engaged toddler today, which let me mop the kitchen floor and vacuum.

Playdough, however, has a dark side. I now have a giant splotch of red playdough smooshed into the white fabric of our dining room chair. How to get it out? Well, you could follow my dad's advice:

To remove Play-doh from a fabric chair seat:
1. Put ice in a zip lock baggie and place it on the Play-doh spot
2. Wait at least 10 minutes
3. Go to basement and get Dennis' propane torch, light it, and burn the chair down to ashes where it sits, or,
4. Resign yourself to never having anything nice again until the kids are out of the house and just live with the Play-doh spot. At least the neighbors can't see it, and you may get lucky and Nolan may try to eat it soon.

My dad is so helpful! Now, if only we had a propane torch...

Monday, November 19, 2007

New videos

Here's one of Matthew dancing and Nolan at 11 weeks of age. Nolan doesn't do a lot, lol.



Bedtime Stories

Matthew's favorite books change on a weekly basis or so, which is great because the 80 bazillionth time of "Marvin K Mooney" can begin to grate. His newest favorite is the Sharper Image catalog. As you can imagine, this is rather difficult to read in "story" form. The typical "story" goes as follows:

Once upon a time there was a robot that looked like a dinosaur. It cost THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!??? And no one in the land knew why such a catalog would be sent to our family, which cannot afford a $300 dinosaur toy! And then there was a pocket knife that glowed in the dark! Oh, you like that one? Sorry, little guy- no knives for you. And then there was a nose-hair trimmer. Does anyone actually get that as a Christmas gift? And then all the electronic gadgets lived happily ever after."

I really hope he chooses another favorite book soon. I don't think I'll ever malign Marvin K Mooney again!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

A Second Blog

Since not EVERYTHING in life is related to hearing loss (though it seems like much of our lives are consumed by it now), I thought I'd make another blog. Plus, with hubby in Sweden for extended periods of time and lake effect snow heading our way, I need some indoor activity to keep me from going insane!

Matthew is almost 23 months old- a December baby who was due on Christmas but decided to come three days early, much to my husband's dismay. He was hoping to kill two birds with one stone and have Matthew's birthday on Christmas. So much for efficiency! He is what some call "all boy." This generally means he is a hybrid of a category 5 hurricane and the energizer bunny. We never lose him because there is always a path of destruction leading to his whereabouts. He was a HORRIBLE sleeper as a baby and just started sleeping through the night. I believe this miraculous event was inspired by his taking of a "comfort object" other than mommy. Unfortunately, his comfort object is a pair of pliers. Not toy pliers, but metal pliers from my husband's toolbox. Not very cuddly, but it lets us get some sleep and he loves them.

Nolan is almost 3 months old. We found out we were expecting him on my first son's first birthday. What is it with us and Christmas? This Christmas will be entirely free of having or conceiving babies! He was due the day after my birthday. My husband fervently prayed he would be born on my birthday- again for efficiency purposes. Nolan had a mind of his own and arrived a week early on August 27. He's been a much easier baby than his big brother- sleeping well and rarely crying. I'm sure he'll make up for it in his toddler years! He is smiling, cooing, and squealing now, which is loads of fun.

Then there's me- recently quitting my full time job to stay at home with the kiddos. I used to work with my husband at a small biotech company, and will probably do some work from home. I'm not going into the office any more, though- the 8-5 deal was too difficult with his international travel (and I didn't want to travel without the kids, which was a risk with my job). He's the director of Product Development at the company and is currently traveling quite a bit (2 weeks out of every month) to Sweden.

That's us in a nutshell- born in California, moved to Ireland (for work), then back to California (briefly) and then on to Western New York. We think we'll stay here for a while, or at least until the snow drives us certifiably insane!