The Beach Tent

It has been in the 90's with high humidity and nary a breeze in sight. In other words, HOT. We figured this would be a good time to visit Presque Isle, a beautiful peninsula on Lake Erie. On the way down to the beach, we passed a CVS with several beach-related items set outside. With the temperature doing nothing but climbing to a ridiculous level, we stopped and bought a very cool looking sun tent. And it was only $24- score!

We arrived at the beach, and Dennis took the boys to frolic in the water. This was very clever of him, since the other "job" was to set up the tent.



The sand was approaching the temperature of the surface of the sun, so I thought it would be a good idea to set the tent up. The minute size of the box and "storage bag" should have been a warning. The 8 million little pieces and very short instructional sheet that spilled out of the box gave me pause. The instructions read:

"Thread short pole into sleeve. Repeat for other side. Thread long pole over short poles through other sleeve. Use stakes if necessary."

This sounds simple. I assure you, it was not simple. The real instructions should have read:

1. Put short poles together.
   
2. Put long pole together.
3. Realize you have put the wrong pole pieces together. Recombine and repeat steps 1. and 2.
   
4. Unfurl tent on sand. Realize you have no idea which is the "top" or "bottom."
5. Thread short pole into a sleeve.
6. Thread other short pole into a sleeve.
7. Realize poles are in the wrong sleeves.
8. &%@!$&
9. Wipe sweat away from your forehead.
10. Repeat steps 5. and 6.
11. Thread long pole into remaining sleeve.
12. Realize long pole is not flexible enough to make the curve over the short poles.
13. Stomp on long pole until it bends.
14. Realize tent now resembles a box kite.
    
15. Scramble after tent, now blowing across the sand.
16. Notice there are no stakes to anchor the tent to the sand.
    
17. &$%@!!#!
18. Retrieve tent and throw every heavy object you own into it, so that it will not blow away.
19. Realize there is now no room for people inside the tent.
20. Drown self in lake.

We did manage to fit a chair inside the tent, and it did come in handy for us as we switched off kid-watching duties. It was akin to being set to "bake" instead of "broil." Plus, the kids found it handy for re-hydrating and gaining some energy back.


The biggest plus was the ease of taking the tent down:

1. Drive to Home Depot.
2. Purchase blow torch.
3. Incinerate tent.

For our next trip to the beach, I think we'll just buy a beach umbrella.

Attempting to cool off in the blistering heat