"I Too Scared!"

Nolan came up to me this morning and declared, "I too scared!"

This doesn't usually trigger any alarm bells, since this is a frequent statement from Nolan. To wit, the following things precipitate Nolan's panic attacks:

• Balloons in the car
• Plants
• Babies
• Flowers
• Birds

Don't even get me started on the evil army of Easter Lilies at the Home Depot. The child is terrified of them. He's convinced the babies at the library story hour are crawling after him to "get his shoes." He has a rather good imagination for a two year old, so we don't pay a lot of attention when he declares, "I too scared!"

He was persistent this morning, however, and continued to cry, "I too scared!" I picked him up and then he elucidated:

"I too scared THAT SPIDER!"

I looked, and then I saw it.

Normally, I am very generous to wayward wildlife that enters my house. Ladybugs are gently helped outside, and frogs are gently scooped up and deposited into the woods. When I see spiders, however, my thoughts are more along the lines of: "Kill them. Kill them with fire!"

This spider was a monster. Before running for the vacuum cleaner to suck the creature into oblivion, I decided to take a picture of the beast. I included an object for scale- considering the spider comes up to the man's knees, I am estimating it was 2 feet tall.

*Shudder*

I plugged in the vacuum cleaner, inserted the hose extension, and dispatched the creature from across the room. The spider made a hideous "thwack, thwack, thwack" noise as it was sucked up the metal tube.

Then, just to be sure, I left the vacuum cleaner running for a full 10 minutes, just in case the spider decided to claw its way back into the family room to seek revenge. The bag on the vacuum cleaner needs to be emptied, but I am waiting until Dennis gets home to do it. That way I can retreat a safe distance away in case the arachnid decides to resurrect itself from its dusty grave.

If you don't hear from us soon, you can assume we have all been devoured by a giant spider.